The Art of the Typed Word

[Tileguy]

The typed word can do so much to enrich all of our lives.unfortunatly,the typed word is just that, typed and does not include with it the little nuances,smiles and gestures of the spoken word.
Because of this misunderstandings and misinterpretations happen.

While I have been a member here for 2 years,I have been a moderator on a professional Tile forum for many and have near 10,000 posts there.In my time moderating that forum i have seen many misinterpretations and misunderstandings of the typed word.
Recently I had this happen here and while things came out fine in the end with thankfully no lasting hurt feelings, it brought to mind something i shared a while back on that other forum and that is this.

We are all friends here, all engaged in an activity which is important to us and willing to share both our strengths and weaknesses amongst ourselves.

Considering this at face value we then must seriously consider the typed word as it is put before us by our friends.Sometimes we are having a bad day, a bad week, or stresses have us all wound up.Quickly we read through the posts in our favorite hangout and bang something strikes us as just wrong!!

Is it wrong,or is it a poor string of words, a misplaced or perhaps an omitted word that would have made the post seemly much differant?
Our day dictates our action and we react,are offended etc.

But wait a minute, these are my friends!!

This is what each individual should say to himself first and foremost when one finds themselves Reacting.
Why would my friend say that? Could they have meant something differant? Am i misinterpretting this?

But, will we take the time to do this, will we take the time to question our own reaction or will we just react?

Now, all this being said, I would just like to encourage folks here at the friendliest forum on the web to take a moment to send a Private message to the individual who caused this reaction to ask them what the intent was of this message.

In my experiance a misplaced or ommitted word in that typed phrase caused the reaction and no harm was intended.A simple private message can and most likely will clear things up.

We may all just be bits of code spreading across the web,but that does not mean we are not friends.Friends do not intentionally set out to hurt or cause grief to other friends.

Let us not let the impersonal of the typed word overshadow the friendships it is intended to support.Put another way.......lets not read in to what is typed here more than is there, let us first fill in that ommitted word or rearrange that misplaced one because i know of nobody who is a member here that intentionally would set out to maliciously hurt another gauger.

So next time any of us read something that elicits that reactive feeling,step back,think about it, leave it and come back to it.Whatever it takes to look at things in perspective knowing that its always a friend on the other end of that string of letters.
Let us not pronounce guilt without a trial, for innocence will suffer most if we do.


Note-this is not directed at any one or any individual, i put this forth as a simple reminder to us as a whole.
Its been a long winter and some are feeling its grip.We all have our daily stresses to deal with.Here is a place to relax and unwind, an escape if you will to those daily stresses.Lets do all we can to protect from the insurgence of reality this home we like to escape to.

Thank you for taking your valuable time to read this my friends!!

 

[ezdays]

Thank you TG for these words of wisdom. We all need reminders now and then that we are all friends here, and as such should be able to communicate at a different level. Words are powerful and can easily be misinterpreted. Frequently it's because someone is thinking one thing, but fails to convey 100% of that thought. As friends, we need to understand that.

And yes, this is indeed the friendliest and most informative site on the web, bar none

 

[spitfire]

Amen to that!!!! :thumb:

Val

 

[Matthyro]

Thanks TG a time to reflect. How many times we have been faced with communications we misunderstood because we didn't take the time to try to understand what was being said or the writer left out some important information that would have helped us to understand the meaning of his/her communication to start with. I remember a time when the CEO of the company I worked for came to me and asked me to read a notice that was going out to company members. He asked me what I thought the intenet of the communication was. What I was able to tell him about the intent of the notice caused him to make minor changes. This just goes to show how important TGs thread is.
Thanks Todd.

 

[RailRon]

Very well said, TG!

In any sort of communication there is the possibility of misinterpretation. Since we are individuals from several different countries - and many of them even with a different native language (like me, it's Swiss German) - the risk for some misunderstandings is still bigger.

Frankly, I don't remember that somebody here at the Gauge intentionally flamed some other member - so if something in a post appears to be aggressive, most probably it is NOT. And that is why I feel at home here at the Gauge. I think we already are practising a culture of tolerance which you don't find on many other forums.

But it is good to reflect about things like that from time to time, so we can appreciate the friendship between the Gauge members even more. Therefore: Thank you again, TG, for your words!

Ron

 

[ausien]

Some here, think of the gauge, as more than a meeting place for friends, but a place of family. we share our hobby, our skills, our sucesses, and our failers, some times we even share our feelings, when you do that, your not friends but family...have a good one ..steve

 

[sumpter250]

The spoken word carries what the speaker was feeling, true, but not always what the speaker was feeling about the listener. Sometimes even the spoken word can be misinterpreted, or carry the wrong feeling, and be taken, not as it was spoken.
Communication requires an "informer", and a listener", and both should be inquirers.
Pete