20 and 40 should be reasonable settings for 95% of the chores. Another method, for those who are thrifty (gee, never heard of a thrifty modeler

), is to get an iron = or greater than as large as you'll need and use a lamp dimmer to control it. The benifit is you get infinate control and it's cheap.
The primary drawback of larger and cheaper irons, to me, is the tips. They are usually not available in small enough sizes, usually don't last as long, and are usually either not replaceable by design, or they are screw in and soon become not replaceable by acts of corrosion. Edsyn sells anti-seize whichs helps with good or cheap tips, but it smokes/stinks for ten minutes after application.
Of the Edsyns I mentioned, the "Loner" series is particualrly nice. The 951SX station can be had for the price of a good iron, has the stand built in, and is adjustable by temperature, which is more meaningful than wattage:
http://www.howardelectronics.com/edsyn/951sx.html
It's what I have at work. At home I have the standard, stand alone iron, which I paid about as much as for the station

"Most" of the time, I just use my cheap 25 watt weller, even for all the itty bitty brass stuff. The loaner would work as well or better, but I don't feel bad if I drop the weller.
I reccommned some solder with "water wash" flux for when you are soldering new stuff, but keep some of the regular rosin flux core stuff around for when you run into some older used, dirty, or corroded stuff you need to solder.