I am sorry for your loss. I know you are having a tough time right now and my heart goes out to you. There are many times in life that I wish God would give us the ability to physically take some of the pain or hardship others are having, and bear it for them, but of course He does not. Rather He tells us ". . . but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint." I will continue to pray. For your strength, your patience, your endurance, your wisdom.