Excuses for calling off work

[brakie]

The other day at work we was discussing excuses for calling off work..Here are some of the better ones that bound to raise the boss's eye brows.
1.I can't come in..My Dog is having puppies.
2.The cat unplugged my alarm clock.
3.My bull is running lose.I gotta go find him..Good for a farmer
4.My dog ran away! I got to find him/her before the dog catcher does.
5.My pet snake ate my car keys
6.I can't find my car keys.
7.I fell out of bed last night and hurt my arm
8.My husband/wife is lost..I gotta go find him/her
9.My neighbor cut his tree down last night and its blocking my drive way
10.Is it MONDAY already?? I didn't know that!
11.My front door won't lock..I need to call a locksmith
12.A drunk passed out on my front door..I am waiting for the Police to remove said drunk.So I won't be in.
13.My husband left me..I gotta go and drag him back
14.My wife left me..I gotta go and drag her back.

 

[Matthyro]

and what I told my boss,"I just don't want to work anymore"
or this one from Barbados. " My body just needed the rest"

 

[N Gauger]

Read my sig Block..... Nuff Said

 

[Doc Holliday]

I won the lottery last night so I won't be coming in today.
Doc

 

[MasonJar]

Doc...

"... or any other day...!!"

I dream of that one all the time

Andrew

 

[francismaximus]

i used to work with a guy who had a medical dictionary on him. he had some top notch excuses. "my spleen!", my pituitary, my esophagal ulcer !, botulism, never a cold. always a viral infection . im surprised he never knew the virus by name. we gotta go typing on a pda is kinda pitiful.

 

[Livesteam]

I thought you called and said i did not need to come into work today.

 

[eightyeightfan1]

Can't come in today...I woke up dead.

 

[Muddy Creek]

I used to call in "well" occasionally when I just felt too good to go to work.

Wayne

 

[spitfire]

And don't forget....

I can't find my contact lens - it's on the floor somewhere.
A pipe burst and the whole house is flooded.
Someone stole my car.
Today is a religious holiday for me.
So is tomorrow.
And the next day.

Val

 

[ausien]

OR....all my trains are late, got to work out a new schedule....

 

[Tileguy]

Well being a business owner,
Ya'll are Fired!!!

 

[N Gauger]

OR....all my trains are late, got to work out a new schedule....

I could use that and they would believe me too!!!

 

[rksstl]

My boss can't fire me, if he did he couldnt take off as much as he does. :curse: ( yesterday was my first vacation day in over 2 years ). Actually I like it when he calls in.

 

[Tileguy]

My boss can't fire me, if he did he couldnt take off as much as he does.

Do you know why bosses take off???
The real Reasons???

 

[kf4jqd]

Here's mine:

"I am moving to Tennessee. I quit!"

This is no joke. Jessica and I are moving in April!

Andy

 

[CN1]

Great! Have a great trip.

 

[Chessie6459]

Sorry Boss, but i was up all night fighting a structure fire.

 

[ausien]

Andy, why the move,? run out of excuses for the boss,so its time to get a new job, and boss. Then you can start the list off again.... have a great time in your new home ...steve

 

[eightyeightfan1]

Well..Here's an excuse you can use in Tennessee.
The still blew up last night....I was up all night building a new one.