My wife DEB.

lyter1958

Esteemed Member
Hi all. sorry havent been on for quite awhile except for some pop in visits. Last year my wife Deb kind of took a turn for the worst. it wasnt the cancer. the last scan done in March of this year showed that the tumor had shrunk 70 %, her mental state ( through out all of 2020 ) had gotten so bad that she was calling rescue 3 to 4 times a day for no reason. she just stopped taking care of herself and i was just about doing full time healthcare for her. but in January of this year due to the help of her doctors office, CSAC ( mental health) and the rescue department here in our town they finely ( more likely got the shits of her calling them , which i can not blame them ) got her admitted to hospital. she was in there from January till May. They then got her admitted into a nursing home where she will be staying from now on. last time she was at the hospital in late December she came down with C-DIFF. signed herself out and told me that they told her to go home...she lied.. gave her meds to take and only took 3 doses..it was a 10 day, 3 times a day dosing. she got so weak and needed help to walk from the bedroom to bathroom. that got cured when she was taken in January. i was spending all my time taking care of her that i didnt know on how bad i was wearing myself out and letting work here slide at the complex we live in. that god the owner under stood what i was going through and helped out . finely all the agencies got their shit in line and stepped in to help. she now has a court appointed medical guardian and that burden is taken off mine and her son's shoulders. we have been told that she will not be coming home at all do to her health. i know that she is in the best place for her to be. and a great rock has been lifted of of all of us here. it took about 3 months for me to get somewhat back into swing of things. lost all interest in doing any of my hobbies.. but have started a new one with 3d printing and slowly getting back into the paper cutting. ( still nick fingers).. so thats whats been happening on my end. I know that 2020 has been hell on everyone out there and things are getting better for us all.. Take care and youll be seeing more of me ( i hope..hahaha) here
Mark Lyter
 

zathros

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I've had C.Diff 3 times. If I get it again, I'll probably kick the bucket. There are very few anti-biotics I can take, and anti-biotics are a major cause of it. My heart goes out to you. She needs 24 hr. care of the type you can't possibly provide. You did the right thing. Just keep on trudging, things will all work out in the end the way they'ree going to, not much we can do about that, but we can enjoy the moments we have now. P.M. me if you wish. Glad your coping. ;)
 

Rhaven Blaack

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I am sorry to hear that you had to go through such. However, I am glad to hear that your wife is now getting the help that she needs. I know that it is tough at times to convince love ones that they are in need of certain types of help (I have had to deal with that with various relatives of mine).
With that being said, both you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I am glad to see you back here (regardless of what medium that you work with).
 

Revell-Fan

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Hello Mark,

I too amvery sorry to hear what yo and your wife have gone through. I agree with my fellow friends. Sometimes life puts obstacles in our path we alone cannot handle. Rest assured, your wife is in good hands. Now it's time for you to recover. That is not selfish at all. I know that from experience when my grandparents became too old to cope with everyday life. Things will get better in time. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care!:)

Marcell
 

spaceagent-9

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Sometimes things just happen and all that is left for us is to keep on going. I hope for you that you get adequate rest and keep active and to be happy thru all of this.
 

lyter1958

Esteemed Member
Thanks all. it really means alot... i have been resting as much as i can, but making myself get out and do the work that i need to do around here. not up to full speed yet but getting there. first couple of months were the " sh**s for me. just didnt have the drive to do anything, but i kept pushing myself to get my ass in gear and plod on. everyone here ( friends, family, doc's ) told me that i have to move on with MY life . Had a somewhat vacation in the beginning of May. well, not really. had a wake for my mother who passed in March from breast cancer and covid. i got to go see my family in Pa that i havent seen for about 10 years. it was a bitter sweet time there. all were supportive on what i have gone through and i really didnt want to come back here..hahah.. all said same thing as well.. Move on with my life. and i am. it is tough, knowing that the person that you have spent 21 years with is never going to come home again. even she had told me to move on also. i have started a "friendship" with someone that i grew up with in my home town in Pa. they live 5 hours away so its a " long distance " thing i suppose. i do go see Deb every couple of weeks but take her "snacks" every week. life is shit but i guess you have to do whats best for yourself at times. sorry for pouring this stuff out. but just want to let people know that i'm still kicking and will not let these bumps in life get me to go down into the rabbit hole. i still have my very warped sense of humor and still love making people think that i have totally lost my marbles..to which i pull one out of my pocket and show them i still have at least 1...most times that is..ok, enough of the ranting.. thanks all for listening ...and i need to get back to cutting paper. got a few that have been screaming at me to build..
Mark
 

zathros

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You are going on with your life. I never liked the expression "moving on", to who's standards/ I too lost my Mom last year, I think of her all the time, sometimes picking up my cell phone to call her. I haven't even able to remove the Icon for her phone number. I probably never will. We live somewhere in the future, and that's mirrored in the past. We have our memories for a reason. In the end, they may be all we have, though my 4 near death experiences have taught me that everything we have done leads us to that transition point, and it's too late to do anything, you won't be chanting mantras, or even praying. Everything is a gift from God, and when we pass, we take nothing but our souls with us, no words, no thoughts, and where we go from there is the great unknown, even if you have an established faith, as I do, I've learned that you can only do your best, and only you know what that is. Not much else you can do. Ride the wave of your emotion, it will crest, and you will still be there. ;)
 
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lyter1958

Esteemed Member
Thanks Zathros for those words of wisdom. your are right about the " moving on " . i am going on with my life. life IS way to short to just sit around and not keep living. i know its something i have to do for myself even though others may think differently. and thats their right to. i'm the type of person that wants "family" ( and i think of all here as family) on how things are going. and the same goes to all here. there's a lot more i'd like to say but i cant think of the words to use.. other than we all need to live our lives as best that we can with the time we got here. again, thanks for listening to me kind of "rant" on things. take care all
Mark
 

zathros

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Thanks Zathros for those words of wisdom. your are right about the " moving on " . i am going on with my life. life IS way to short to just sit around and not keep living. i know its something i have to do for myself even though others may think differently. and thats their right to. i'm the type of person that wants "family" ( and i think of all here as family) on how things are going. and the same goes to all here. there's a lot more i'd like to say but i cant think of the words to use.. other than we all need to live our lives as best that we can with the time we got here. again, thanks for listening to me kind of "rant" on things. take care all
Mark


I've never heard you rant about anything. ;)
 
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