When Is It Enough...OR Too Much?

Mountain Man

Active Member
Jan 19, 2007
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An editorial in a recent MRR magazine posed the question of when enough was enough...or even too much...in our hobby. On thinking it over, I decided that this was a Foxworthy moment deserving of serious consideration:

If your hobby building has more square footage than your home...it's too much.

If you can't remember what your living room looks like, but can visualize every square inch of your layout, it's too much.

If you haven't seen your wife in so long you have to keep a picture of her over your layout, it's too much.

If your layout represents the budget of a Third World nation, it's too much.

If you have more rolling stock than many prototypical railroads had in their prime, it's too much.

If your solid brass locomotive cost more than your first car, it's too much. If it's cost more than your current car, you should seek expert clinical help.

If your home is entirely decorated with railroad themes, logos and colors, it's too much.

If your bedsheets are decorated with trackplans or blueprints, it's too much.

If you refer to all colors by their railroad names, such as Boxcar Red or Sante Fe Yellow, it's too much.

If you can no longer look at objects without considering their use in a layout, it's too much.

If you refer to your home as the "home depot" or "end of track", it's too much.

If you and your wife have ever gone out in public wearing matching railroad overalls and engineer caps, it's too much.

If you cannot travel anywhere without including a railroad stop, it's too much.

If you give all directions based on your LHS as the initial reference point, it's too much.

If you drool when entering your LHS, it's too much.

If the sight of the latest model locomotive with full digital sound and control works better for you than Viagra, it's too much.

If you can no longer speak to strangers or give directions without using railroad terms, it's too much.

If you have ever referred to your wife as "your cute little DCC controller", it's too much.

If your cellphone or doorbell has bells, whistles or other train noises, it's way too much.

If your porch lights are red, green and yellow, it's too much.

If your nickname includes the words "Engineer", Fireman" or "Conductor", it's too much.

If you do not go to bed, but "head for the roundhouse" at night, it's too much.

If you refer to your grandchildren as "gandydancers" or "track monkeys", it's too much.

If you find yourself going "choo-choo", "huff-puff", "chug-chug" or "too-toot" under your breath during quiet moments alone, it's not only too much, it's also too late to get help. :cool:
 

ezdays

Out AZ way
Feb 3, 2003
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bigbluetrains.com
If you find yourself slowing down at a RR crossing in hopes of catching the gates, you're a bit over the top....

If you can't remember your own telephone number, but can tell someone how many louvers there are on the side of an SD-40, well, that proves it...
 

Mountain Man

Active Member
Jan 19, 2007
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If you get arrested for vagrancy because you sit forever waiting to photgraph a train, it's too much.

If you cannot draw the floorplan of your home, but know the technical specs for every locomotive on your layout, it's too much.

If you no longer do household repairs because "the scale is too big", it's too much.

If you have ever told your wife that she isn't HO anymore and needs to start looking in O or LGB, it's way, way too much.

If you schedule your shopping excursions like a waybill, it's too much.

If you can't get up an icy hill in your car in winter, and you call a friend to suggest "double heading", it's too much.

If you have ever tried to pole a car that won't start, it's too much.

IAnd iff you honk your horn at crossings two-short-and-a-long, you've lost it completely.
 

iis612

Member
Dec 26, 2006
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If you have ever had a contractor add square footage to your Basement so you can add more main line run, too much...

If your kids/grandchildren look at you and have to think of your name but you are greeted by first name at your LHS, too much...
 

Triplex

Active Member
Aug 24, 2005
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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
If you refer to all colors by their railroad names, such as Boxcar Red or Sante Fe Yellow, it's too much.
I actually do this - distinguishing shades such as Action Red vs. Candy Apple Red. And I sometimes use "Penn Central green". In the case of extremely dark greens, I don't know any non-railroad term, and I'm stuck with Brunswick green.
 

Mountain Man

Active Member
Jan 19, 2007
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If your idea of a great anniversary present is his and hers DCC controllers, it's too much.

If you dredge out the aquarium becauxse you ran short of ballast, it's too much.

If you have even used your car battery to jump-start one of your locomotives, it's too much.

If you give throttle commands out loud in your sleep, it's too much.

If you have an EOT device for a nightlight, it's too much.

If the flush handle of your toilet is hooked to a steam whistle, it's waaaay too much.

If you have the IRS send your refund check directly to your LHS, it's too much.
 

shaygetz

Active Member
May 2, 2003
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If you're sizing up your bathroom for a CTC board, it's too much.

If the vendors at the train show stand at attention when you walk in, it's too much.

If your beloved bride can only wear a few well placed decals and some Labelle #108 to get your attention, it's way too much.

If you get Christmas cards from BLI, Mike's Train House or Overland Models, it's too much.