You never know what your going to hear on those scanners. My brother sent this to me and said it was a true conversation on a UP freight train. Train: Train XXX to dispatch... Disp: Go ahead. Train: Yeah...uh...dispatch...can you, uh, tell us what train we have? Disp: What?!? Train: We need to figure out what train we have, because something isn't right here. We're supposed to have a bulkhead flat, number TOE XXXX on the end of this train, and the crew we just passed in Roanoke told us it's nowhere in our train. Our manifest doesn't seem to match the rest of this train too well either. We need to figure out what train we have before we get too much farther up the road. Disp: Can you come back? Train: No. We're already past milepost 729. We just need to figure out where this train is supposed to go. Disp: Oh, yeah. OK. Uh...I'll talk to the yard master and try to figure out what happened. A few minutes pass... Disp: Dispatcher to train XXXX. Train: 's'train XXXX. Disp: I looked you up in the computer, and everything seems to check out ok. I didn't find the bulkhead flat, so I got ahold of the yard master. Apparently he changed your consist, and he did update the computer, but he didn't give anyone an updated manifest. You must have the right train. Train: Well, we need to verify that bulkhead flat TOE XXXX because with it, we're limited to 40 mph. If we don't have it, then we're a 50 mph train. Disp: Well, if you don't have it, then go 50. Train: (sounding unconvinced) We don't KNOW that we don't have it. Disp: Your manifest should be correct, and if it's not there, go 50. Train: (still sounding unconvinced) Well, OK. End of conversation.