"Once upon a Train"

Discussion in 'The Caboose' started by Virginian, Apr 28, 2001.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    the switch didn't get thrown to the straight and the chemical-accident-waiting-to-happen train derailed. There was a tank car full of gasoline and a box car full of dynamite headed straight for them. Emril screamed, bent over and put his head between his legs, the three stooges jumped in the fire box, and Martha climbed in the punch bowl. The Indians saw what was happening, dropped there hot dogs and...
  2. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ...began to do a rain dance. Well it worked, a deluge of rain fell on the boxcars soaking the contents and rendering them inert. It also put out the fire in the firebox, saving our heros from certain distruction. No big BANG, no chemical disaster, no need to call the hazmat team. Which was good because they were in the dining car examining what Martha had been cooking up. After all, she is a felon and could be making just about anything now days. One of them was brave enough to sample what was in the stew pot only to find....
  3. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    ...Grits. Yes folks, Grits, the stuff Chief Eagles likes so much. In the following disscussion, Moe could be heard saying "I didn't know the Hikowi could do a rain dance, or that the Hikowi could even fire arrows!" (Editors note; Here's why: F Troop - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
    Then suddenly, a large, hideous, monsterous, terrifying, shocking, repulsive, UP-obsessed, and tall...
  4. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

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    CEO of the railroad who owned the aforesaid chemical-accident-waiting-to-happen train came storming up. "Who's responsible for ruining my cargo?" he bellowed, face an alarming shade of crimson. Well the boys may not be the brightest bulbs, but they certainly knew when to shift the blame. "It was...
  5. steamhead

    steamhead Active Member

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    ....EZdays"...they said, pointing an accusing finger at the Gauge mod....."He made us do it.." So, Don, having nowhere to hide and with a guilty look on his face, uttered what may be his most famous words..."...
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    "The devil made me do it".
  7. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    But what no one saw was that his lips never moved.... Behind him was the "one" the "only" Geraldine Jones.........

    In The Flesh, Honey!!!!!!

    S/he sashed over and met with the CEO of the railroad who owned the aforesaid chemical-accident-waiting-to-happen train and said: "you can't be blaming this guy for what you did!! And Geraldine "KNOWS" what you did - honey"

    The CEO of the railroad who owned the aforesaid chemical-accident-waiting-to-happen train stared at her in shock... then stared at ezdays - then stared at the stooges - and finally at the grits..... and said:
  8. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ..."Which one is which? I can't tell the difference between any of these, Ezdays looks like the pot of grits and I'm confused between Emril and Curly." He thought maybe he could tell them apart by tasting each one so he reached into the pile of people that have now collected around the grits pot, grabbed a hand and took a big chomp on it.

    "Hmm, it tastes peculiar" he says, not realizing that he grabbed someone's hand that had just finished being used for mixing up a batch of....
  9. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    Spam Stew, with a big side of Grits:mrgreen: Everyone...
  10. steamhead

    steamhead Active Member

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    ...stared in horror...!!! Unfortunately, they were all unaware that while the pot of grits was boiling and all were enjoying this great southern culinary delicacy, an unseen and evil figure had stolen quietly onto the train and was now on the brink of....
  11. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    Dancing with glee when he stole the big pot of grits, because it was the villian from Meet the Robinsons (usually called "The Bowler Hat Guy"). However, the pot was still VERY hot, so the B.H.G. Started yelling with pain, and of course droped the pot, which...
  12. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    Splashed the grits onto Geraldine's Dress..

    She shrieked.."Honey - you got grits on my dress... Now you're gonna have to......
  13. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    Pay! [insert various descriptions of harm done slapstick style] But...
  14. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

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    ...before Geraldine could make a move on the B.H.G, Ezdays stepped in and said "I'm a moderator and so I'm gonna moderate you all good if you don't all settle down!"
    Well, the ruckus did settle down, at least as much as was possible with the Stooges, Geraldine and the rest of the assorted assembled party could be expected to. Emril tried to sooth things down more by serving up bowls of grits and Spam Stew. However everyone was horrified when the first ladle of stew came up holding...
  15. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    ..N Gauger, sleeping like a baby and cuddling a "Lionel Lion" plushie. Then he woke up, and what happened next was totally unexpected, because then Spider Pig crashed through a window, squealing bloddy murder. "How many more oddball charicters are going to get involved in this? We've got two fourum mods, the U.P. C.E.O., some convicted felon whose claim to fame escapes me, a thin bald guy who hasn't showered in 30 years and has a robotic hat, some other guy, a pig who won't shut up, and us three!" Said Moe "Who's next, Sweeny Todd?" Then...
  16. steamhead

    steamhead Active Member

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    sure enough, Sweeny showed up....but this time wearing an old engineer's uniform, a red bandana and an old, oily, crumpled cap. The crowd immediately hushed up, waiting to see what this new arrival was up to. Sweeny took off his gloves, and looking them all straight in the eye...
  17. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ... and belted out "Swannnneee, how I loves ya, how I loves ya, my dearrrrrrr ol' Swaaaaannnneeeeee"

    The boys, having spend many an hour singing and having made a few movies themselves, chimed in. Now Emril and Martha were not to be upstaged so they wailed out a few lines themselves. Now just then, a train pulled up along side with the entire Boston Philharmonic aboard. Not having heard such music since they left Boston, they all pulled out their instruments and....
  18. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    after they were finished playing - the man in black said:
    "You know, this music would work a lot better...............
  19. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    if we were at the Grand Ole Opry. Now, the Up ceo had never been there, so he called in a crew and had the wreck cleaned up and coal and water brought for the engine. Even brought cleaner for Geraldines dress ( the ceo had been hitting the seltzer water and Geraldine was starting to look better all the time ) the only thing they needed now was an engineer, and since Sweeney Todd was dressed like one, he was elected. The ceo said " lets get this train moving" took another shot of seltzer water and started chasing Geraldine through the train. The convicted felon was jealous of Geraldine ( being in prison did something to her ) and...
  20. CNWman

    CNWman CNW Fan

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    The Three Stooges wondered at the same time " Wasn't Geraldine the convicted fellon?" It diddn't matter, because at the same time, for some strange reason, the Rock Island Boxcar full of marshmellows which had been lost some pages ago was falling from the sky, and...