"Once upon a Train"

Discussion in 'The Caboose' started by Virginian, Apr 28, 2001.

  1. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2003
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...as luck would have it, the Mouseketeers picked that exact moment to do a Mouseketeer cheer. As Jimmie stretched out his arm, he deflected the lasagna back into Moe's face. Moe, suddenly blinded by a cloud of meat sauce laden pasta stumbled about until, quite by accident, he grabbed...
  2. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...the fire extingisher and went right into skit #432 which calls for him to wildly spray the Mouseketters and Ester, but he managed to hit Curly full force instead, propelling him into the Mouseketters as if he were a bowling ball and they were the pins.. Meanwhile, Larry (who is Fine) opens the oven and finds more of Emeril's cream pies which gets the food fight in full swing. All this time the stranger in the back seat slept through this melee until a bowl of pork fried rice caught him square in the face. As the stranger stood and wiped the food from his face, an errie silence fell over the crowd. The food fight was over, it seems that this stranger was no stranger, nay, it was none other than...
  3. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    John Wayne... (American)......... He stood up - and slowly eyed the crowd..... I'm not gonna hit ya....... You know - I'm not gonna hit ya.......... (Turning to Emeril) .......................
  4. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ....the hell I'm not" as he let poor Elmer Fudd have one right in the chops. Fortunately for Elmer, the chops were on his dinner plate and they went flying all over the dinning car. That gave Emeril and idea as he thought he could pull ahead in the cooking compitition with his new dish, "flying pork chops", but Porky Pig cried "fowl". Upon hearing that, Foghorn Leghorn decided it was time to check out, and pulled the emergency cord. S K E R E E E E CHHHHH went the breaks, but as new as it was, this engine had been through way too much to handle a stop like that, and...
  5. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,796
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...instead of sliding along the rails, stopped on a dime that someone had left on the tracks. The cars, not used to such preformance, all accordioned while remaining on the tracks. This meant that everything in the cars got mixed together. Moe Elmer and Foghorn were wearing mouketeer ears, four of the mouketeers were wearing chefs hats. Larry was wearing Ester's bathing cap and Curly was unluckally wearing the Duke's Stetson. John Wayne slowly advanced on Curly with a look in his eyes that would freeze boiling water. Everyone held their breaths as.....
  6. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...train lurched forward, causing all to tumble to the back of the train. Unfortunately, someone left the back door in the club car open, and the passengers started to spill out onto the tracks, tumbling and rolling about. Emeril got up first and was unscathed with his chef's hat back on his head and his chef's knife in his hand. Foghorn saw that and took off for the hills, which was his intent in the first place.. Each of the Mouseketters dusted themseves off and noticed they were all wearing their mouse ears once again. And so it went with everyone else, well almost everyone else, when they all peeled off the pile, the person on the bottom happened to be Harry Potter, who was on his way to a book signing in Chattanooga, and, sorry to say...
  7. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,796
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...but by that time everyone had just about all of the toons and fictional characters they could stomach, and were even giving sidward glances at the Stooges and, dare I say it, The Duke. Worst of all for Harry, the tumble out of the back of the train had knocked every spell right out of his head and he was facing a hostile mob with nothing for protection. Things were looking rather grim for the boy wizard then.....
  8. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...he reached for this giant eraser that appeared out of nowhere (that's the magic business folks) and proceeded to erase all these fictional toon character, but found he wasn't getting anywhere with any of the Mouseketters, The Duke, Stooges or even the OSU marching band who was making a tour of the southwest.Being of sound mind, but faint of heart, Harry did what any kid his age would do...
  9. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,796
    Likes Received:
    0
    ..., he hid under his bed with his hands over his ears. As the OSU marching band, the Stooges, the Duke and the Mousetters were getting ready for the brawl of the century a voice of reason spoke up. Everyone turned to look at Dr. Phil as he said, ".....
  10. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    now, I wonder what Oprah would think of all this....... and as if on cue.... "Walking Backwards, was Harpo marx... and the Marx Brothers.... Groucho said... well welll, your train is stuck... say the secret word and we'll fix it for you....

    Toot Toot... (Harpo) For those of you in the back row... (Harpo = Opera Backwards)

    The other brother.... Then said:" you know... if we had a bunch of coal, we could make this train go a reallly a fast!!!!!

    Groucho said... well - until they say the secret word - we aint a going no-a where.......

    Chico replied" We needa duck!!!.... Emeril said: "you're-a too-a late.. we et it..... BAM

    The Marx's jumped at that & Harpo stepped on (what else) a duck.......

    They all looked down --- to see..............
  11. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...what else, Harry had "ducked" under his bed, or so he thought, and there was Harry Potter with his hands over his ears and really laying in the aisle since there were no Pullman cars on this train. "Hey Harpo, watts ya gunna do, eh?" Said Checo. Harpo responded by sitting in Anette's lap and tooting on his horn....TOOT- TOOT, TOOT- TOOT. Well, the engineer mistook that horn for another train on the tracks, and the Moose (yeah, yeah, they were heading to a Moose convention in Chicago) in the front car thought it was a mating call so you can imagine the chaos when Anette stood up and Harpo fell on his horn letting out a very loud HONK, further confusing the troops and causing...
  12. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2003
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...a flock of geese to swoop down and join in the fray. In the ensuing struggle, there were fists, feathers, and mouse ears flying in every direction. When it was all over, everyone was feeling "down," but certainly not out. So they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and got back on the train. Amazingly, nothing really weird happened until they got to the next station. Harry and Annette hooked up and headed for the beach. The Marx brothers headed for the canteen to get some duck soup and animal crackers. Emeril and Chef Boyardee patched things up and went to McDonald's to celebrate with the rest of the mousketeers. Dr Phil counseled the Stooges on their relational issues, and the Duke rode off into the sunset. Things were going pretty well, until...
  13. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...someone realized that this wasn't a stop that appeared on any schedule, or even a map. After gathering everyone around to discuss the situation. That "someone" turned out to be Wadworth, the butler who was accompanying at group in that private car that hooked onto the train after it sucessully crossed the tressle.

    "Where is Col Mustard?" Miss Scarlet asked. "I haven't a clue," replied Mr. Green, "I saw him and Mrs. White heading over to that big mansion behind those big gates."

    "Hmm," said the conductor, "this is starting to look like a mystery game, maybe we'd better go...
  14. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Frankie said - "No, I think you should come up to the lab...... It's in the mansion - you know"......

    Annett looked at "Frankie" and somehow realized that he wasn't "the Frankie" (being he was dressed in a Corset) ..

    Wisely - they decided to leave Frankie & his colorful guests & get back on the trian.... Which now had a new crew - (shift change) and they soon realized that noone has had any sleep - for 39 pages..... So - after waking up they decided to "press" onward, wich was easy - since Walter Cronkite was now on the train... :D

    "Well" Cronkite said, "I see that we have a grand collection of celebs on this excursion.. I think that we should all say something for the fans out there, in TV land"

    He gave the mike to.......................
  15. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...none other than Martha Stewart, who has slipped the surly bonds of her ankle shackels and was heading out to the chili cookoff in Tulsa. "Thank you my loyal fans, I shall never forget you, uhhh, yes, that's it, my loyal fans who, uhhh, whatever your names are, and, oh cripes Walter, must I continue to cowtow to these lowlife?" Shocked at this outburst, the sheriffs of Notingham and Cochise who were heading to a sheriff's convention in Las Vegas, decided enough was enough and proceeded to....
  16. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2003
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...pull out the electronic dog collar that they use for training purposes and place it around Martha's neck. Another sheriff, Sheriff Omar, then forced Martha to wear a purple and orange polka-dot shirt with plaid pants. "Accessorize that!" Omar shouted in challenge. But, Omar hadn't counted on...
  17. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,796
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...the sherrifs who, as soon as they realized who she was, all made a mad dash for her to recapture the escaped felon. They crashed into the spot where she was and a big tussel ensued. Without being noticed, Martha crawled out from under the pile wearing a sharply creased state troopers uniform, perfectly accessorized with side arm, handcuffs and pepper spray. She placed a "Smokie the Bear" hat on her head and strolled away without a care in the world. Unfortunately the same couldn't be said about the four cops who emerged wearing, respectively, a purple and orange polka-dot shirt, a pair of plaid pants, one in a shock collar who screamed every time the Sheriff of Notingham pushed the button on his control and lastly, the most embarassed trooper who was wearing only a pair of panty hose. This was too funny to take and everyone (but said troopers) ROTFLTAO until.....
  18. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    They heard the engine's whistle start blowing frantically!! They all picked their own window...The Stooges picked & fought for one. :D ... In front of the speeding train was a handcar....

    The good news was: It was NOT a toon handcar!!

    The Bad News was...........
  19. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Messages:
    6,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    ...that there were a couple of 'toons running it. Yes, we thought we had seen the last of these characters, but the sight of all those officers out of uniform was too much. Besides, who was acting more like a toon but Martha herself. Her curiosity got the better of her, and so she jumped on the handcar, not realizing that the train was bearing down on them. The toons were unfazed since they were indestructable, but Martha, just fresh from the big house, knew it was time to...
  20. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Messages:
    7,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Make a call!

    She whipped out her cel phone and called the "Only Person" that she knew could help her get out of this mess..........