"Once upon a Train"

Discussion in 'The Caboose' started by Virginian, Apr 28, 2001.

  1. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    ............was still steel (Say that 3 times fast) :D

    The cannonball, streaked down the tracks...... toward hooterville :) Where Billy Joe, Bobbi joe and Betty Joe, were all waiting for "The Cannonball Express"..... They were noticably dissapointed when a "Real" Steel cannonball came flying out of the sky onto.......

    .But meanwhile back to our story..... The Little engine could have kept going "forever" if it wasn't for Blackbeards love for Strawberries.... Yes Strawberry Fields. Acres of strawberries... He Shouted "Avast!!" Take down the sails & Drop anchor!!!!.....

    Of course when Anyone yells Drop (anything) In a cartoon.... well that cannonball came a flying down - through the cab roof... through the floor..... and was finally stopped, by the hard wood of the tie.... "That's better!!" the captain hollard!!

    "Strawberry 's for ever-E..... one " :)

    Everyone jumped off the train and ran for the fresh strawberries...... they never saw the "posted sign".... it was stapled to a tree - in plain view.................................
  2. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

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    and said"WARNING! genetically engineered strawberries. NOT for human consuption. May cause nausea, vommiting, impotance, loss of body parts and a bunch of other stuff you don't even want to know about. So KEEP OUT!"
    Of course no one reads signs anymore, and if they do they don't believe what they say. "That's just there so they can keep all these luscious strawberries for themselves." Hollered Blackbeard, and everyone went to wolfing down as many berries as they could. Before long.....
  3. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    ... a short bald-headed man in a hunting outfit holding a shotgun arrived on the scene. "Shhhhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits!" The Stooges, who are well-known strawberry afficianados, were naturally the first to deboard the train. Moe introduced himself to the man in the hunting outfit. The man replied, "I am Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht." Curly introduced himself and said "Nice hair! Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck." About that time, the pleasantires were interrupted by an unmistakable roar. Within minutes...
  4. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ....everyone was wondering where that "service" car was that Sheygetz built. The sound of thunder wasn't from the cannons going off, no sir, but there's no need to describe that in detail. Sheygetz rolled out a whole fleet of these cars, but they were occupied as fast as he could get the doors to open. Moans and groans and very loud sounds were emminating from all around, when Dr. Dolittle showed up riding his Pushum-pullum, and after seeing what went on, that the only way he was going to be able to save what was left of his stawberry field was to...
  5. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    ...call on his friend the great candy mogul Willie Wonka who in turn dispatched a squad of Oompa-Loompas to remove the strawberries and relocate them to a safe location. The Oompa-Loompas then distributed special strawberry flavored Everlasting Gobstoppers to the stricken passengers. The medicinal effects of the gobstoppers provided relief from the passengers' gastric distress and left them with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

    Blackbeard,. his intestinal fortitude suddenly revitalized, was heard to say...
  6. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ...arrrgh,, this here ain't no stinkin' ship, avast ye landlubbers, I'm headin' back to sea and turnin' over the helm here to someone that know how to take this smokin' tub and whip it into shape." But before he had a chance, he noticed a bunch of Viking warriors chasing the train yelling, "what do you have in your wallet", and with that, everyone checked, you bet, they all had.....
  7. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    Austrailian Distress Traveler's Cheques... They just knew they were in trouble!!!... but then.. Elmer Fudd said..weiiight weiiiight!!! and started whitein... err Wrighting furiously!!!....

    He wrote a bunch of cheques & tossed them out the train window... the checques were caught in a passing breeze & flew away from the trian....with the Vikings in fast persuit!!!

    They all ran towards te strawberry patch & Wilie Wonka's Ooompa Loomas, which of course ran in terror.... then - the first viking Warrior got to the first cheque - looked at it and "halfway reading it"....................
  8. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    ...exclaimed, "Boys, we're rich!" So, they gathered up all of the cheques and left Toontown for their favorite diner, where they all ate Spam (SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM WONDERFUL SPAM...) Regrettably, the Vikings did not more closely examine the cheques or else they would have realized that they were signed by Elmer Fudd. Since they were no longer in Toontown, the manager did not believe that the cheques were authentic. So he made them stay and wash dishes. Meanwhile, back on the train...
  9. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

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    ...Blackbeard had departed, although he had left his parrot behind. The bird was driving everybody crazy, squalking furiously and screeching at the top of his lungs, ".....
  10. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ...Polly want's a stiff drink." Well, the Stooges still haven't found a liquor store that had any port wine, so the club car remains closed, frustrating the parrot even more. In the meantime, the crew was trying to straighten out the smokestack and get everything ship-shape (dah), so they could get on their way. With the BART car gone, it looked like it would be clear sailing (geeze, can't we get rid of that stupid parrot?) from this point on. The Viking Warriors were gone, as was Blackbeard. Some of the passengers thought that the parrot was very tasty, if nothing else, it no longer annoyed anyone with its squalking. The fireman had a good fire going in the firebox, and the train started to move forward once again, until the engineer realized....
  11. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    ...he had been on duty for 12 hours, and thus, by law was forced to go "off-duty" for eight hours. The exasparated parrot exclaimed, "Is there anyone who can sail this ship? I'm sick of this place and I'm ready to move on." In fact, the parrot was almost as tired of Toontown as everybody else was of the constant nautical metaphors. As if in answer to the parrot's question, the Stooges suddenly reappeared with arms loaded down with cases of seltzer water (the closest thing they could find to port wine in Toontown). Moe said, "We'll get her going." So Moe climbed into the engineer's seat and Larry and Curly grabbed shovels to stoke the firebox. Moe attempted to move the train forward while Larry and Curly ended up hitting each other with the shovels. By the time they got the train moving, the engineer had been "off duty" long enough to resume his duties. He sent the Stooges back to the club car and everyone was happy. Everyone, that is, except...
  12. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ...the parrot who by rights was a tasty meal just a little while ago. If it wasn't the parrot, then what was it they ate a bit ago? Hmm, they were all wondering where Daffy went.. Undaunted, the passengers chased this parrot to the dinning car where Chef Emeril was waiting to show off his cullinary skills. "This parrot is big enough for me to make one of my special dishes," said Emeril. "I gurantee you that it will taste like chicken," As he swung his clever, the parrot jumped up and Emeril....
  13. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    BAM!!!

    Hit the parrot with a cleaver....oh don't worry!! :D :D It wasn't that sharp... He hit the parrot with "The Beaver"... :D :D Beaver Cleaver hit the parrot perfectly & shot the parrot right out of the window :)

    Beaver said "Wow!! Wait till I tell Wally about this!!!"

    Emeril just responded... BAM!-- Bam!!! And through the door came Bamm Bamm Rubble..'Someone call me???"

    This was getting to be too much for Emeril - who turned to leave the car - just in time to see a silloette' coming through the door into the car................
  14. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    It was none other than Chef Boyardee! Years ago in Dodge City, Chef Boyardee had lost a chili cook-off to Emeril, and now he was back to settle the score.
  15. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ... but behind the chef were still more outlines, First there was one,then another and another until there were a full dozen, but no one could make out what or who they were. Yeah, they had a clue with those round floppy things on top, almost like mouse ears. But when they heard a familiar sound, sound, they were sure. "Hi, I'm Billie, Hi, I'm Annette, Hi, I'm Bobbie, Hi, I'm Jimmie,..." It went on and on, then in unison, "M - I - C - K - E - Y M - O - U - S - E, Mickey Mouse,Mickey Mouse,.." Oh no, it's the original Mouseketters who had booked their reservations weeks ago and are now boarding for Anahiem. As they tapped their way to their seats, this strange uneasy feeling overcame the rest of the group because they knew full well that....
  16. N Gauger

    N Gauger 1:20.3 Train Addict

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    ......... someone was going to lose an ear or Two - as soon as the 2 chefs finally met and started hacking away at each other.... Emeril stood firmly behind his cooking counter as the Beaver ran for cover.. (There are just so many things that could be put here) :D :D

    Anyhoo - the Mousketeers all screamed as......................
  17. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ... Emeril beat Chef Boyardee in opening up a can of Spaggeti-O's, much to the delight of all on board who hadn't eaten much since Daffy disappeared. The Mouseketters all settled into their seats and since the conductor had never made it on the train, the Stooges decided to collect the tickets. "Ya knuckleheads", Moe yelled, "you puch the ticket, not the passenger."

    "O-O-O-I-E", said Curly, "Who's going to Oshkosh?"

    The Mouseketters all shouted, 'THAT'S ANAHEIM and AZUSA!!!!" birdbrain."

    "Uh-Oh", said Larry as he grabbed the mic to talk to the engineer, whoever that was, "This isn't Fine (that's a joke son), we have a problem here....
  18. Pitchwife

    Pitchwife Dreamer

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    a reply came back over the loudspeaker, "Of course it isn't fine, it's coarse son, coarse I say coarse, coarse (in a stage whisper, (somebody musta droped that kid on his head or sumpthin'). Do you get it now son or do I have to come back there and draw you a picture?"
    Yes, the engeneer was now none other than Foghorn Leghorn who had jumped aboard just as the train was leaving Toontown.
    "You knuckleheads," Moe said to the other Stooges, "We gotta go through this train and kick off any of those waskely cartoon characters still on board."
    Upon hearing Moe say "waskely" everyone stared at him.
    "Oops," he said. .....
  19. Papa Bear

    Papa Bear Member

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    ...Then Larry jumped up and said, "Hey, Moe, you've been holdin' out on us. You're really a toon!"
    "I am not a toon!" Moe replied with a bonk on the top of Larry's head to drive his point home. "I've been in this nuthouse of a town for so long, I'm starting to talk like one."
    "Maybe you're just connecting with your inner toon," Curly suggested.
    "Inner toon? Why I oughta..."
    Annette suddenly interrupted, "Excuse me, Mr Moe. It seems like you have some serious anger issues. Would you like to talk about them."
    "Anger issues? Why I oughta..." Moe was suddenly cut off by a flying piece of zucchini from the cook-off. Moe attempted to retaliate by poking Curly in the eyes. Curly ducked just in time and Larry received the eye-poking.
    Curly, trying to be helpful said, "Yeah Moe, you really need to get in toon with your feelings. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck."
    "Well get in tune with this," Moe said as he picked up a bottle of seltzer water. He aimed it at Curly and tried to spritz him, but instead, he sprayed...
  20. ezdays

    ezdays Out AZ way

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    ...Ester Williams, who didn't mind the water, but hated the bubbles. It reminder her of one of her movie pictures that she hated, Babes in Bubbleland, or something like that. In retaliation, she picked up one of those cream pies that Emeril was baking and caught Moe right in the you-know-where. "Hey, we got ways of dealin' wit you, gimmie that pie," as he reached for the lasagna Chef Boyardee had just made, and tossed it in the direction of Ester, but...