. pull this..... grab that & tug...... push down on this.......... bang that meter there to make sure it's accurate................. tug this........ well, this went on for a while ...then..........
"Once upon a Train"
- Thread starter Virginian
- Start date
...all that noise finally woke up Larry, Moe and Curly Joe. "Hey fellas, looks like these here guys need the special talents of us guys," says Curly. Knuckleheads, grab some tools and let's get to work", say Moe. Yep, we can only imagine what happened next. All three of them grabbed on to the same sledgehammer, just as...
Paul Bunyonseed said,"Hold on and stand back." As everyone was trying to figure out if they should hold on to the engine or sand back away from it, Paul picked up the locomotive and proceeded to carry it to the other end of the train. Unfortunately half of the people were still clinging to the engine for dear life. Equally unfortunate was the fact that the three cars behind the engine were derailed since Paul had neglected to uncouple them before picking it up. (We've all done that once in a while haven't we? 
) finally the engine was hooked to the other end of the train, the cars were rerailed and everything was ready to go when.....
) finally the engine was hooked to the other end of the train, the cars were rerailed and everything was ready to go when.....
...the engineer said, "anyone here got a match?" It seems that with all this moving about and carrying engines and dropping people, the fire went out. "A match, what's a match" said the crowd in unision, seems as if matches weren't very popular yet, at least in this part of the country. Well, they still were close to Toon Town, so no one was surprised to see the Big Bad Wolf emerge from the woods. "I'll huff and puff and blow your house down" he kept repeating. Well, that gave the engineer an idea. "Why don't we just....
..grab that wolf and let him huff and puff on these coals and see if we can't get it going again. Innitially the wolf wasn't too keen on the idea, but when Paul grabbed him and started pumping his legs like a bellows he changed his toon (pun, pun). Soon the fire was not only going, it was roaring like an angry lion. The steam in the boiler started to put a strain on it's rivets and the whistle started blowing without anyone even pulling the cord. The engineer, who at this point was so frazzled from all the moving and shaking and robbing and hijacking and everything else that he had been through since the beginning of this thread finally said, ".....
Well its the end of my shift, and i`m going home, you lot had better get yourselves another engineer. With that cacey jones jumped down from the foot plate with his lunch pail in hand and started to walk off over the hill to his little house, when he.........
...noticed that his house wasn't there anymore. "Hmm," he said to himself, all I see is my neighbors house, the one made of brick. My house and the straw house next to it is gone, they look like they've been blown over. I'd better ask my neighbor what happened. "Hey, Mr. Pig, what gives here?"
"Daggum wolf, that's what!" said the pig, while his two brothers cowered behind him.
"That's the last straw, no more huffing and puffing for that guy," said Casey as he ran back to the train to deal with that wolf once and for all. Well, without an engineer, the three stooges took over running the train, which by now was...
"Daggum wolf, that's what!" said the pig, while his two brothers cowered behind him.
"That's the last straw, no more huffing and puffing for that guy," said Casey as he ran back to the train to deal with that wolf once and for all. Well, without an engineer, the three stooges took over running the train, which by now was...
...going in two different directions at once. Confused? These are the Three Stooges, remember. Casey just managed to hop on board when...
..the train started to slow down. Yes, they lost the fire. Seems as if the Three Stooges left the tender behind to cut down on the load. "Fear not," says Casey, "We're coming up on the hill that makes even the strongest and bravest engineer as limp as putty." Yep, ahead of them was the infamous 6% downgrade known as "Barf Bag hill", but it was their only hope if the train was to make its schedule without any fuel aboard. "My only concern is for the pregnent hippo in the club car" said this tiny voice from the rear. Everyone turned to this tiny person and said...
.. "What - Pregnant Hippo"?????
"Why, The one traveling with the Cross Eyed Lion, Clarance!!!" (Showing my age here)..
"The very same Hippo & lion which are now members of the Bingling Sisters Circus!! Featuring the banana Splits... The very same ones that are taveling on this very train"
With that - The Shortest man in the world stopped talking (His small lungs were empty)
As the engineer and the stooges and Harry hill, remembered that along woth Hippos, come Elephants & Monkeys..........
Oh No - NOT monkeys!!!! They all turned to look toward the fron...err Rear of the train,... and saw.......
"Why, The one traveling with the Cross Eyed Lion, Clarance!!!" (Showing my age here)..
"The very same Hippo & lion which are now members of the Bingling Sisters Circus!! Featuring the banana Splits... The very same ones that are taveling on this very train"
With that - The Shortest man in the world stopped talking (His small lungs were empty)
As the engineer and the stooges and Harry hill, remembered that along woth Hippos, come Elephants & Monkeys..........
Oh No - NOT monkeys!!!! They all turned to look toward the fron...err Rear of the train,... and saw.......
...that there were indeed, no monkeys. It seems the truth is, that when a banana splits, so do the monkeys. (umm, that was so bad, that I'm not sure it will even post)ops:ops:
"So, now what do we do with a pregnent hippo?" says Harpo. "Anything it wants to," replied Grocho, as he chewed on the last cigar on the train. Learning that was the last straw for Casey and he new he had to finish this run on time. But they were still slowing down, and he knew they were not going to reach Barf Bag Hill unless...
(umm, that was so bad, that I'm not sure it will even post)ops:ops:"So, now what do we do with a pregnent hippo?" says Harpo. "Anything it wants to," replied Grocho, as he chewed on the last cigar on the train. Learning that was the last straw for Casey and he new he had to finish this run on time. But they were still slowing down, and he knew they were not going to reach Barf Bag Hill unless...
...it had some extra help. As everyone knows, circuses have to have elephants (I think it's a law or sumpin') so they unloaded the elephants, hooked them to the engine and had the Stooges run along in front of them with bags of peanuts. Soon the train was rolling right along, but the Stooges were getting tired and the elephants were catching up to them. In order to keep the elephants pulling and the train moving they had to.....
...finally stop eating the peanuts and give some to the elephants. Remember folks, nobody had eaten for about the last fifty posts and these guys were getting hungry. The just about reached the peak of Barf Bag Hill, when over the loadspeaker came a familiar page, "Calling Dr. Howard, calling Dr. Fine, calling Dr. Howard..." Uh oh, the boys had to leave. They were due on the set of one of their most famous pictures. If only they could find their doctor costumes. "Knuckleheads, you left our luggage on the tender, which now is about five miles back," says Moe. "Let's just go...", but he didn't have a chance to finish, just then there was a very loud, W O O O S S H H H, and they turned to see...
...the engine, which had just topped Barf Bag Hill and was starting to pick up speed. The problem was that no one had figured out how to untie the elephants, who were, instead of pulling the engine, now being dragged along behind it. "Cut them elephants loose!" bawled Casey, "Or we'll have the dad-burned SPCA conin' down on us!" While everyone was trying to unhook the elephants without getting either trampled underneath them or run over by the train.....
just then big Paul Bunyann, scooped up the elephants, and droped them back on there flat car and when the elephants feet left the ground that little train took off like a rocket and sped down barf bag hill at a tremendouse pace when a curve came up, the train.......
...for some reason began to slow down. Was it the ever vigil Casey at the throttle knowing just what to do? No, he was in the club car trying to secure the bottles of hooch. Could it have been Paul Bunyonseed to the rescue? Nope, seems as if he chose this moment to use the portable restroom. Could it have been the Three Stooges. Not that either since they were in the baggage car looking for their doctor costumes. Who or what caused the train to slow down at this critical moment? Heck, everybody should know that answer to that by now, it was...
Droopy Dog (From ToonTown) "Everyone knows I do everything slooooow" With his white fur and black nose & ears... his mere presence in the cab of the engine slowed down the train to a perfectly safe speed down the side of Barf Bag Hill......
The trian went around the curve with no problem... then picked up a bit pf speed as it went across Chasm Gorge Bridge... The tallest Trestle bridge built by man.... Of course - as the train went over the 3 mile long bridge, everyone became curious & looked down....................
"Everyone knows I do everything slooooow" With his white fur and black nose & ears... his mere presence in the cab of the engine slowed down the train to a perfectly safe speed down the side of Barf Bag Hill......The trian went around the curve with no problem... then picked up a bit pf speed as it went across Chasm Gorge Bridge... The tallest Trestle bridge built by man.... Of course - as the train went over the 3 mile long bridge, everyone became curious & looked down....................
at the low clouds. Or was it clouds? From that distance it was difficult to tell. It could be smoke from a bunch of hobos cooking dinner or maybe a spark from another train caught the tressle afire. It couldn't be our train since our firebox is cold. Whatever it is, the daunting crew won't know until they reach the halfway point on the bridge where they plan on getting a volunteer to climb down and report on what they see. "Any volunteers for this mission," says Casey. The silence was broken by....
...a loud squalk from the back corner. Everyone turned to see who this fearless daredevil could be. It was none other than Donald Duck, rubbing his tail and looking very angily at Micky Mouse who was trying very hard to look innocent while hiding a stick pin behind his back. "Looks like we have our volunteer!" Hollered Casey over the sputtering objections of an angry, frustrated and terrified duck. "Now all whe have to do is.....
... but before he had a chance to get his words out, Daffy Duck pushed his way to the front, yelling, "no other duck is going to outstage Daffy, no sir." Daffy, of course, was not aware of the dangers he was about to confront; but Daffy being Daffy, that didn't matter, being in the limelight did. He began to wonder though when they started tying a rope around one leg and pushed him off the bridge. "Let us know what you find down there," said Casey, as he turned to notice that the other end of the rope was...