his blue ox Babe. Seems like you just can't keep a good ox down, even by butchering it. Paul was so overjoyed that he started jumping up and down and wrestling with Babe which caused.....
"Once upon a Train"
- Thread starter Virginian
- Start date
..a major earthquake. The bridge over the gorge had finally seen its last train, and here we are with Casey steaming 'round the bend and down the grade. What to do, what to do, well Casey knew, he...
Couldn't slow down, He knew if the train slowed it would send the train to a certian demise.. he yelled to the fireman to start shoveling. He pushed that throttle as far as it would go and......
out of the bushes casey heard the sound of a motorcycle and a figure dressed in red, white and blue leathers waving for casey to follow him down the grade, which he had no choice in the matter but to do, the train picked up speed and evil kanevil did the same, side by side they raced down the grade to the ever aproching george as the bike took to the air and the train followed suit. And as they landed on the other side of the.....
woke up Harry the Conductor. The Fireman asked, why did you wake Harry? The engineer replied: Because Harry has never seen a real train wreck! With that being said, the engineer exclaimed:
..damn, that there Paul Bunyon guy isn't going to be the only one to miss this here gorge by a half mile. I suspect we all better...
warn the stations up and down the line about the bridge. Just about that time Paul Bunyon happened by and seeing the collapsed bridge, commenced lifting it up out of the gorge and with a few logs that he kept in his back pocket (for just this kind of emergency) propped the bridge back in place. When the president of the railroad saw what he had done he yelled at Paul "......
...."hey, those logs came out of my woodpile. You're in real trouble now mister big shot." Paul was embarrased by this, and immediately went back to the bridge and...
pulled out the logs which caused the bridge to collapse again. Handing the logs to the president Paul said "I sure do appologize fer fixin' yer bridge. I'll see that it doesn't happen again." Just about that time the 5:15 came over the top of the hill with a full head of steam heading straight for the ex-bridge. The president screamed.....
..."those aren't my logs you birdbrain, put them back and get me the right ones before I get really mad." Meanwhile, Casey realizes that if he's is running the 5:15, it's only 4:30 and he is way ahead of schedule so he tells the brakman to slow down since there is no way a train is suppose to be early. "Glady" says the brakman, "but..."
Casey, this is yesterday`s 5.15 we are realy 23 1/2 hrs late already but i`ll do er, if you wants......
... and so he was about to, but Casey on the other hand didn't aways play with a full deck, and thought that if it was really 4:30 tomorrow, that he must have been to the station already and he was now heading in the wrong direction, so he slammed the throttle in reverse and...
the president or the railroad was in the club car haveing a belt with the man in black and billy the kid, when the man who shot liberty valance came bounding throu the ajoining door, jus as casey decided to thow the train into reverce, the man who shot liberty was catapulted into the president who inturn tost his drink into billy`s ......
spitoon which he always has with him. they Billy exlaimed: "hey, how come this here railroad has two presidents, on down there fighting with that there giant, any you on this here train fighting all us bad guys. One of youz is a impostor and a fraud, and I know which one of youz guys ain't and that has to be...
..J.R., who was hightailing it out of Dallas. Speaking of hightailing, the impostor RR president was...
shot himself in the foot, dang he saidafter his inital scream had deafend everyone within hearing distance. That alway happens with this....
cocamaimie Colt. Meanwhile the other president was learning that it wasn't a good idea to call a 60 foot tall man with an ax and a bunch of logs a birdbrain and was in the process of carefulling removing the logs from his.....
...teeth, since we forgot to mention, that this president was actually 200 feet tall, and he normally used logs for toothpicks. But back to the train, Bart was fighting with the other president, Homer was back in the club car drinking Duff beer, while Marge's blue hair was mistaken for...
cotten candy and swamped by all of thew kids on the train. The 200 foot tall president, (real or fake, I forget which?) who when Paul had finished with him, ended up more like 2 feet tall (which just goes to show that while you might be a giant of industry, doesn't mean that you can stand up to a legendary woodsman with an ax) snivelled, "Please forget about what I said about you and the logs Mr Bunyon. In fact you can have a free lifetime pass to ride my train anytime you want. Just don't cut me down any more. My board of directors won't think that I will be able to run a railroad if I'm any less a man."
"You couldn't be less of a man," Paul replied, wiping off his ax. "In fact.....
"You couldn't be less of a man," Paul replied, wiping off his ax. "In fact.....