Regarding ballast on ties, I've seen perfectly clean right of way, and so much ballast you don't see the ties. But generally speaking, a large percentage of the tracks I've walked have their ties nearly free of ballast. And in ballasting our model track, I think the reason so many talk about how to keep ballast off the ties is that the model track looks messy, as if the reason the ballast is there is not to accurately model track, but because the workmanship is messy. It takes a fair amount of effort to keep the tie tops clear, so if there is ballast on the ties, it appears you were lazy. If we want to actually model prototype track, we could model sections which were recently reballasted, the ballast would be a different color, or at least not weathred as the old ballast is. Often, the ties would be buried in these areas, depending on the profitablity of the road in question. A lot of track I've walked has the ballast a couple inches below the tie tops. Easy to remember due to having to walk from tie top to tie top, adjusting my stride constantly. Tie spacing is not even in most cases! Tho most modeled efforts I've seen in changing tie spacing are too drastic, my own included. I've found it easy to keep tie tops clear (mostly!) by adding little enough ballast to cover the roadbed, but not fill up to the tie tops. Then any on the tie tops is simply brushed (I use my finger) between ties, where there is sufficient capacity left to hold it.
A detail which is neat is old spikes laying on the ties or ballast. When replaced, I guess the track crews just left old spikes there on the right of way. I will have to check as I don't recall who it is that makes scale spikes, they are nearly invisable to my poor eyes! But they have square shanks and are actual scale spikes. A few of these in prominent areas, all rusted up, is a nice effect.
My ballasting sequence, for what it's worth, all variations are valid and what ever works for you is right:
Lay track, make sure it operates well. Paint ties. Ballast. I add india ink to alcohol and spray a fine mist on the ballast as a prewet. This weathers the ballast nicely. Then I glue using diluted white glue, using the glue container to simply apply the glue/water mixture.
I go back and paint the rails last, after doing any cleanup the ballast requires. For up front track I add the joint bars, or fishplates, whatever the bars which join the rails together are called. In these spots I don't use rail joiners, I have a feed on every rail piece. Saw a notch in the railhead every scale 39' and install one of those bars. I actually measure 6" rather than 39 scale feet. That works well with 36" long lengths of rail. Then I paint the rail sides with a fine brush, (only the side I can see) check photos of the track you wish to model for appropriate colors.