A Stimulus Joke...

Discussion in 'Off Topic Lounge' started by bulldogowner, May 12, 2010.

  1. bulldogowner

    bulldogowner Destroyer of Spam Moderator

    Oct 13, 2006
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    My wife forwarded this to me earlier today...thought I would share...

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
    Using a Q & A format:

    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
    A. Only a smidgen of it.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
    High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
    Spending your stimulus check wisely:

    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:
    1) Spending it at yard sales, or
    2) Going to ball games, or
    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
    4) Beer or
    5) Tattoos.
    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. . )

    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
  2. Padre

    Padre Member

    Oct 4, 2009
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    The Diamondbacks lost, so much for the ball game.
    the prostitute had "Made in China" tattooed on her ass.
    the yard sale money was sent to Mexico,
    and the Bud is owned by a Belgian company.

    Thanks a lot!
  3. warmachine

    warmachine New Member

    Mar 19, 2010
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    LOL, this is funny. Mainly because it's true. Nothing is made here anymore *shakes head*.
  4. jmickle

    jmickle New Member

    May 20, 2010
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    haha this is brilliant.
  5. raser13

    raser13 Member

    May 31, 2010
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    Q:do you know the car that has the most us made parts in it? thus being the most "made in the usa"

    A: a volkswagen!! :curse: isn't that horrible!! a car manufactured in germany has the most parts made here. but the rest of it's pretty much true and sad.
  6. OXM_Chase

    OXM_Chase New Member

    Jul 27, 2010
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